The Beauty Of...Anjali Yadav
"It’s those moments where you feel so grateful to be alive and a deep soul level of contentment and you think, ‘this is it.’"
Hola! Alexa here. Welcome to my series The Beauty Of…where I interview someone in my life on the topic of beauty: what it means to them and how it shows up in their life. These chats are a sliver of light to cut through the darkness, like a square of sunshine on your hardwood floor or a slice of lemon meringue pie after a hard day’s work.
My friendship with Anjali began in 2013 when she sent me a message on Tumblr and asked if we could be friends “IRL.” I lived in Ithaca, NY at the time and she in my hometown of College Station, TX. We Skyped for 3.5 hours, swapped phone numbers, and aside from the many flights and miles between us, we’ve been doing life together ever since. A true long distance relationship, she’s my constant in life. Calming, affirming, and glimmer-giving. We call each-other “Sis.”
Anjali is a joy-seeker and question-asker living in Chicago with her wonderful husband Safi (who is now besties with my husband—we manifested this!!!!). She loves exploring the city with her friends, getting stronger in the gym, and snuggling with her two black cats (Rumi + Rani) as she reads a fantasy book.
What's an early memory of appreciating beauty?
Dinners growing up. I don't think I thought of it as beautiful then, but looking back at this memory with an adult’s mind…even weeknight dinners felt meaningful and special. Tess and I would do a little “after dinner show” for our parents and they would be so tickled and entertained by our shenanigans. Our parents were so…un-rushed. At the time I don't think I would have called it beautiful…but when I think about what I want in my life, [family dinners] feel like such a beautiful thing to experience.
Describe a beautiful day in eight year old Anj's life.
I feel like what was so beautiful about being eight years old was the freedom and lack of concern about being perceived. It was just like, “yeah, I'm just a kid doing kid shit.” The attitude of an eight year old is pretty beautiful: I'm going go to school. I'm not going to think about what I'm wearing, really. I'm going to hang out with my friends and I'm going to romp around on the playground. I'm going to go home and maybe ride my bike. Easy and unbothered. Take me back.
How does beauty show up in your life as a 29 year old?
Appreciating the small everyday moments has become more central in my understanding of beauty. For example, walking home and passing by a park and I see people on picnic blankets, kids playing, and dogs romping around. Of if I’ve just picked up a loaf of bread. Or I’m making dinner and calling my mom. And I’m just like…this is good stuff. It’s those moments where you feel so grateful to be alive and a deep soul level of contentment and you think, ‘this is it.’
What's an internal quality that you regard as beautiful?
Patience. When you observe someone being patient to someone else or someone is being patient with you, that person is choosing to make all of our lives better. Like, “This could have been a tense and challenging moment, but you’re choosing to make it more peaceful.” It’s a generous thing to be patient with someone else. I think that’s why I associate it with beauty, because it feels like a beautiful gift when you receive patience from someone.
Where do you go to witness beauty?
The park, where life is happening—the good parts of life. People are spending time outside. They're with each other, they're lingering, un-rushed. Kids are being kids. Dogs are being dogs. We're all just enjoying the goodness of a day together. And it’s free! Anyone can go to the park and hang out. Also, a walk in the woods. I want to be surrounded by the wisdom of trees—like, “you guys have figured something out.” To see the natural world doing its thing and I just get to meander through. So, I think if I were craving beauty and wanting to be in the world, I'd go to a park. If I were craving beauty and wanting to be alone, I would go for a walk in the woods.
Who has taught you the most about beauty?
I'm going to go with my mom on this. She has an appreciation for the little dark corners of life. The last time I was home, there was a vulture sitting on a lamp post and it kind of startled me. But my mom said, “oh my gosh!” She ran outside and she put her arms out really wide and held them above her head. She said, “I read that if you do this, they’ll do it back.” And then the vulture did it back and she was so smitten; she had this beautiful little connection with a vulture. Anyhow. She loves her little chotskies. She collects bones and feathers. She's such a cooky witch. She has such a special way of taking an everyday thing and finding something really beautiful and charming about it.
What’s something beautiful that you've experienced that was born from something painful?
I’m thinking about Safi’s and my early days. We met when we were young and the emotions were emotion-ing. We were figuring out how to be people and be together, and there was a lot of start-stop and messing up and getting it wrong and trying again. We were kids doing our best. But you do something long enough and you start to build up the muscle and you figure out what works and now we have this beautiful life together that we created brick by brick. We really have found our way to true partnership. He has my back in a 100% percent confident way. I know him so well and he knows me so well. You evolve so much within a relationship and it creates this connection that can only be possible because you had challenges relating to each other and you had to work through it to get to the other side.
Who is someone who puts beauty into the world that you'd like to give a shout out to?
I'm going to give a shout out to strangers that compliment other strangers. A little sprinkle of beauty, stranger to stranger. I love those moments. I love when I observe them, I love when I live them, I love when I'm the one that feels compelled to give the compliment…it feels good on all sides, everyone involved is having a good time.
I could compliment Anjali for days. It could be her stunning green eyes, her delightfully giddy laugh, or the way she listens during tough moments - patient, understanding, validating. I could compliment her sense of play and fun that inspires everyone around her to lean into the game, the story, the laughter. I could compliment her natural skills at hosting, with her relaxed demeanor and generosity that allows you to sink into the couch with a snack bowl at the ready, feeling comfortable and at ease, ready for a soul nourishing chat. I could go on and on. Couldn’t you?
Thank you for reading and thank you Anj for the wonderful conversation. You’ve brought immeasurable beauty into my life, 11.5 years and counting.
:’)
xo,
alexa
Oh Anj is just so beautiful - inside, out!! That smile literally is everything too!!
you guys are my favorite long distance relationship ever.
yes, I could go on about anjali too. there's something about how calm her being is- like she's soaked in sunshine from a previous life- and it radiates out- the warmth of her smile and how connecting and kind she is-- she's un-rushed- like her parents. didn't I declare her cepeda baby #5? xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo such a gorgeous write up love.